Russel David's The Mark

... a special thanks to the eWrestling Associated Press. eW, FW and PTC-wide. Next Feature: FWSX

Monday, May 22, 2006

Pulped Culture :: Windham, Cain, Hopper, Nova & Rollins

But of course, the grid isn't the entire story. It's the thumbnail of the pro wrestler's pop culture perspective... but what's the rest of the answers? In most cases there answers had to be severely edited down. Due to space constraints or... content. To all those questions that wheren't fully answered, you'll find the soundbyte bellow. I'm giving a "reader's descretion is advised" warning right now, but I'm sure you'll still enjoy Jimmy Cain's total loss of sanity almost as much as I did (though it's kind of said seeing a guy with so much potential lose his mind due to drugs... but it's still his decision).

Though, yes, here are the stories behind the answers...

With LoC’s Relentless Champion Max Hopper
[1] “The one with that guy and that lady, guy, and they did some stuff, and then it was over .”

With ACW’s "American Pyscho" Jimmy Cain
[2] "Anything that incorporates screaming, whispering, and complete and total violence fests where blood pours from the sewer systems into the waters like a cork being popped on a whine bottles. Anything by Billy Idol or the Townie Bady Supper Club."
[5] "What're the fucking SAG Awards… and why do I give a shit? I'll lead a coup of US Navy Seals, hard up for pussy, into the sheets of your 80-year-old grandmother! I'll make sure we pick some plastic cocks up, too, so your warm and grampa-y grandfathers can join in the fun! I am the only one worth of an Academy Award -- all categories, I win! Why? Because I fucking KNOW. I don't dick around with a bunch of honey dipped cocklovers, if I feel like peacin', I'll walk the fuck out. Join this renegade circus where we slay the audience in the middle of our show... swinging down from the ceiling of the tent, catana at our waists. It feels so FRESSSH. But that's fine -- I'm not scared of the fuckin' bitches I've seen postin' up on in N.Y.C. I'll beat Lord Lowell into a grave of shredded memories and drained rainbows of majestic violence! LIVE BY IT, OR DIE ALONG WITH THE NEW WORLD! I'LL GIVE YOU A NEW WORLD! A WORD OF BLOODID SHEETS, SCABBIN' TO THEM LIKE THAT SHIT'S NORMAL!? FUCK, NO! YOU'VE GOTTA BE ON *SHIT* BEFORE YOU CAN START PASSING THAT FUCKING SHIT OFF AS "commonplace." BULLLLLLL SHIT!"
[6] "What the fuck? What're you asking me here? Do - I - waaatch - thaaaaaat - showwwww? Ahhh, like... fuck no, bitch! I already KNOW why everybody hates Chris... it's cuz he won't cut off the jive and he just continues SHUCK. SHUCK SHUCK SHUCK~! Keep your wise-ass "homie talk" back to the Bernie Mac. The Bernie Mac who likes to be a fucking sharp cock in a newly purchased pair of scuffed jeans?? That big faggot? "doggone, doggone, doggone!" It's fucking GODDAMNIT, already! DAMN - IT - GODDDDD! FUCK YOU, GODDDDD! I'ma TAKE THE JOURNEY INTO THE MARY'S BLOOD CROTCHAL HEDGE MAZE! WHY? CUZ I AM THE SHIT! AND I TOTALLY FUCK MY HOS THAT WAY -- PUMPER TILL SHE SCREEEEEEAAMS~!"

With PRIME’S Nova
[1] "I saw Hostel. That shit was just too gruesome, ya know? It doesn't take a genius to recreate scenes of horrific violence. It takes someone like M. Night Shlamayan to make a movie that can scare you without making you puke. I'm drunk."
[2] "Shit, right now? No. No. Can't do that. What I can do is give a shout-out to Eddie Hazel's Game, Dames, and Guitar Thangs. It has the sickest "California Dreamin'" cover you've EVER heard. I'll guarantee my PRIME Universal Championship on it. And I'm not even PRIME Universal Champion."
[3] "You really want to know the color of my American Express card? No, no, I'll tell you. It's fucking peach. Peach for the color of my fucking hand, which is all I see when I pull out the wallet to see how my finances are doing...which, while we're on the subject, are pretty nasty."
[4] "I don't read magazines. I'm sorry to harbor a boring answer, but I just don't have the time to read magazines. I'm too busy paying attention to RP deadlines and finding creative ways to avoid them. Fourth Wall broken says WHUT!"
[5] "HA! Whoops, that's impolite. I'm sorry. I've had a bit to drink. What I mean is...who cares? Honestly, I know about potential Oscar winners and all that, and I know Brokeback Mountain is crazy or what-have-you (I haven't seen it) but I mean, let's just be serious with one another...there's the dank film to be seen that we all haven't, and I for one would like to pick up Do The Right Thing before I check out whatever blew up the theatres this summer."
[6] "Everybody Hates Chris?" Fine, sitcoms are desperate. I'll accept that. But I just feel, and you'll pardon me for saying so, that the main character is SOOOO underrated. I mean, he's a good-lookin' cat. And charismatic. All I ask is that people give him a chance."

With CSWA’s last UNIFIED World Champion, currently retired Troy Windham
[5] "Cable Ace Awards. I've won three."
[6] "Only the two episodes I was on playing the concerned guidance counselor."

With GCW’s GTT5 Winner Rich Rollins
[1] ""Hostel." I liked "EuroTrip." I liked "Saw." But putting them together was the worst idea since Spice TV."
[3] "Yellow. It used to be red. I dropped it in the bucket of paint they used to mark the stripe on Deville's backside with."
[5] I watch the Tony Awards. Yeah, I have a sensitive side too.